Physical Violence:
Slapping, pinching, punching, pushing, pulling hair, kicking, choking, holding her down, tripping her, hitting her with objects, dragging her, throwing things at her, backhanding her, using weapons.

Sexual Violence:
All of these are forms of rape: making her do sexual things against her will, physically attacking the sexual parts of her body, treating her like a sex object, threatening her if she won't submit to sex, talking about her in a sexual way to others.

Cultural Abuse:
Competing over "Indianness." Misinterpreting culture to prove male superiority/female submission. Using relatives to beat her up. Buying into "blood quantum" competitions.

Ritual Abuse:
Making prayers against her. Defining spirituality as masculine. Stopping her from practicing her ways. Using spiritual ways as a threat. Saying "God doesn't allow divorce." Saying her moon time makes her "dirty."

Using Male Privilege:
Treating her like a servant. Making all the big decisions alone. Acting like the "master of the castle." Defining men's and women's roles in a way that makes men superior and women inferior. Expecting her to always care take of you first. Not supporting her. Expecting no consequences for bad behavior.

Using Isolation:
Controlling what she does, whom she sees and talks to, what she reads. Limiting her outside involvement or activities by stopping her from using the car, always having the kids with her, make sharing money or giving her a guilt trip. Using jealousy to justify always knowing where she is or restricting her movements.

Using Intimidation:
Making her afraid by using looks, actions or gestures. Smashing things, putting holes in walls and destroying property. Abusing pets. Displaying weapons. Reminding her in any way how you have or can hurt her.

Using Emotional Abuse:
Putting her down. Calling her names. Making her think she's crazy, always wrong or stupid. Belittling her feelings, opinions and reactions. Playing mind games. Humiliating her. Making her feel guilty for not being "good enough" for not making you happy or causing the violence. Telling her she's a bad mother, wife, woman, etc. Stopping her from doing what she needs to or wants to do for herself. Telling her how to dress, look or act.

Minimizing, Lying and Blaming:
Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously. Saying the abuse didn't happen. Saying she caused/deserved/provoked it. Shifting responsibility for your violence and abusive behavior. "She made me do it." "I didn't hit her hard." "She should have just shut up." "It was her own fault."'I had to teach her a lesson." "I was drunk." "I was abused as a child; I can't help it."

Using the Children:
Making her feel guilty about the children and that she's a bad mother. Using the children to relay messages. Using visitation and custody issues to harass or do violence to her. Threatening to take the children away. Promoting the idea that children are property and need a father (even if he's violent). Convincing her that he'll get custody if she leaves. Convincing the children that the violence is her fault, that she's stupid/sick/a bad woman.

Economic Abuse:
Preventing her from working. Making her ask for money. Giving her an allowance. Taking her money. Not letting her know about or have access to family income. Making her prove how she spent money. Not paying child support.

Coercion and Threats:
Making and/or carrying out threats to do harm to her, the children, or her family and friends; threatening to kill her, the children, her family or friends. Threatening to take the children, either legally or by kidnapping Threatening to commit suicide. Threatening to report her to welfare. Threatening to use Indian medicine against her. Making her drop charges. Making her do illegal things in order to blackmail her.