To make the peace,
start at home.
You're the One
Working for peace in your family
Suggestions for solving your family problems
YOU'RE THE ONE
who woke to the siren
that the ambulance made
which ripped the calm
till they got to the home
and knelt by the side
of someone you knew
who'd been hit in the back
and the mind
and the heart
for years and tears
and no one had heard
until the siren.
Do you know how to work for peace
in your family?
-
Each person has strengths of his or her own. Identify them, and build on
them. Give each family member a reason to feel important.
- When your feelings are escalating and stress is getting the better of
you, get the help you need -- before you lash out at someone else.
- Keep small things from becoming big by talking about them.
- Treat each other fairly, the way you'd each like to be treated.
- Take time to show you care -- talk, listen, never stop getting to know
each other.
- Respect each other's space, but remember a caring touch can mean a lot.
- When disagreeing or correcting each other, be direct and firm, but respectful.
- Encourage play that teaches children how to be good sports. Show them
how to have fun without fighting and name calling or watching violent
shows.
- Learn about your family history, culture or race. Celebrate it. Build
family traditions around it.
- Help each other accept responsibility for actions and behaviors. Don't
blame others for your reactions.
- Discourage abuse of tobacco, or alcohol and other drugs that can divide
families. Be a role model for responsible use.
- If someone has a problem with violent behavior and/or alcohol and other
drugs, encourage them to get help. Do what you can to help yourself.
- Make helping others a family project.
- Live your life so that, when people think of someone who's caring,
considerate and fair, they think of you.
Suggestions for solving your family problems in a peaceful way
- If I'm angry at my spouse or partner or teenager, I can make the
peace by not blaming him or her for my feelings or reactions, not hurling
insults or put-downs or bringing up old arguments, not responding to
insults flung at me with more insults, leaving for a few minutes till I
feel strong enough to talk things through, controlling myself rather than
trying to control him or her, getting the help I need to stop -- if I've
been hurting others.
- If I've had a bad day and I'm about to take it out on my
6-year-old, I can make the peace by explaining in a normal tone of
voice that I'm tired, calling a friend for support, talking a few minutes
to settle myself down by reminding myself that I can't expect adult
behavior from a small child, asking my child to take some time out too.
- If a family member comes on to me in a sexual way, I can make
the peace by refusing to keep the secret, telling him or her to stop and/or
telling someone else about it, knowing the behavior is his or her problem
and he or she needs help to stop, knowing that nurturing and caring touch
can be wonderful -- but abusive use of touch is wrong and harmful.
- If my teenager is so full of rage he or she is about to burst, I
can make the peace by helping him or her to talk about their feelings and
what they expect from the situation, trying to understand his or her point
of view, being strong enough to admit it if he or she needs help.
- If someone is abusing my mind, body or spirit, I can make the
peace by taking action that will make me feel safer whether it's speaking
up or seeking the outside help and support I need, understanding that the
violent behavior is their problem (not my fault), knowing I can't control
his or her actions by being a better person or loving them more.
This information is from the Minnesota
Make the Peace
Campaign and is used with their permission.
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