1. Protecting, defending or explaining the batterer.

Some Reasons:

Many victims learn early that “troubleshooting” for the batterer may affect their safety. If the victim can demonstrate (especially in the presence of the batterer) a loyalty and desire to help the batterer stay out or get out of “trouble”, this may translate into future compromises. It may be advantageous to the victim to remind the batterer of times of rescue or support. In turn, this may be traded for safety.

Other Reasons:

Threats, knows batterer will be back, financial dependency, need time to get organized and to secure financial security, fear of the system's response.

2. Recanting, denying, changing of mind, reluctance/refusing to cooperate. Extreme privacy (secret keeping) through withholding or protecting critical information.

Some Reasons:

No one knows more about batters' potential than victims do. Privacy (isolation) is a key issue for most batterers. After any intervention, the risks may increase. Batterers often hold victims responsible and accountable for what happened (being arrested, embarrassed, inconvenienced). Besides protecting themselves and their children, shielding others from the batterer may direct the victims' behaviors.

3. Making custody the primary issue when applying for orders of protection.

Some Reasons:

The reality that their batterers will use the children as a way to gain power and control can be a motivating factor. Batterers frequently threaten to take the children. Victims are often eager to gain custody in order to assure their protection. This may take precedence over any fear for their own safety.

4. Not showing up for interviews or court.

Some Reasons:

The victim may be fearful of what the batterer may do to avoid prosecution or civil consequences. Additionally, many victims may have extreme difficulty trusting people they do not know, especially those in places of authority (power and control).

5. Rationalization.

Some Reasons:

A primary tool of many batterers is to blame their own violent actions on the victim. It is common for batterers to say, “If you hadn't done what you did, I wouldn't have had to do what I did.” Victims may find themselves trying to figure out how to change themselves to please their partners. The pressure of victim responsibility is often reinforced by society.

6. Becoming aggressive toward the batterer after helpers arrive.

Some Reasons:

During intense emotional, physical and/or sexual violence, acts of self-defense can be dangerous for victims. When help arrives and a degree of safety is assured, victims may feel self-defense is a safer option.

Other Reasons:

Victims are aware of the opinions of many people who believe they should fight back. In fact, many victims report having been advised that fighting back would stop the abuse. In an effort to show supporters that they do not simply “take it”, some victims demonstrate aggression in front of others.

7. Anger of belligerence toward police or other helpers.

Some Reasons:

a. When police or other helpers are called upon to assist victims, it is often an act that is intended to get immediate relief. Once help arrives and a sense of safety is restored, it may appear safe for victims to focus on the next stage of survival. They may act on the reality that the batters will not willingly go away, but re-emerge and look for someone to blame. Showing support can be a valuable tool for diffusing batters blame.